Kristen Stewart has been making her own fresh pasta in quarantine: impressive?

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I know little about Kristen Stewart, other than she spells her name correctly (we ENs need to stick together). The more I find out about Kristen, the more I like her. She had an in-person interview with Kimmel to promote Happiest Season and her upcoming role as Princess Diana (I still can’t see this). I found out that Kristen’s mother does not acknowledge Thanksgiving with turkey, which is exactly what I would do if it were left up to me. More importantly, I learned that Kristen can cook and that she makes her own pasta from scratch. She brought Jimmy some photos of her creations. He carefully identified each dish, which turned into the sexiest few minutes of television I’ve seen in a while. Kristen showed a fettuccini Bolognese that looked scrumptious. Her cacio e pepe sent me over the edge since I just weathered failed attempt number three this past weekend. I’ve queued the video at the bottom up to the pasta talk. The whole food subject starts earlier, at 2:00, if you want to go back to it. Here’s some of what she says about pasta.

KS: So what did I put in that pasta? There’s um langoustines so like, I think this was around the time of the very long and extended election and we were like, ‘we need champagne and caviar and we’re going to go all out we have the best day ever!” and then I was like drinking lots of champagne and being like, I can’t eat any more caviar we had a little bit left I made a pasta

JK: Do you make the pasta yourself?

KS: Yeah

JK: You crank it out or you go through a machine

KS: Well, okay so I cranked it out, but that’s a machine. It’s like you could do it all by hand but I use the little thing that is there more no that’s doing it by hand

JK: I mean you could cut it with a knife, but nobody really does that. No, you’re doing it the right way I approve of all your decisions

I found Kristen charming throughout this whole interview. She’s got dry sense of humor that complements the awkward thing she’s got going on. I think her awkwardness is real, but I also think she plays to it because it works for her. I barked out in laughter at her “Well, same,” reply to Jimmy’s “It could go both ways.” I also use a pasta press and I consider it making my own pasta. Her cuts are beautiful, much cleaner than mine (I don’t get hung up on my cuts because it still tastes good). Unlike Kristen, though, I cannot look into a pantry and throw something together, I almost always need a recipe. I can learn a recipe well enough to make it without looking at it, but I don’t know food well enough to create my own dishes.

Looking at Kristen’s gorgeous pasta creations makes Robert Pattinson’s apocalyptic sugar and pressed cheese microwave pasta look like a cry for help.

As I said, this interview endeared me to Kristen. Too bad I disliked her Christmas movie so much. It wasn’t as bad as Holidate, but I had at least gone into Happiest Season thinking I would enjoy it. The jokes were ok and the cast was talented. I swear I’m not playing favorites, but every time Dan Levy was on the screen it was worth it. And everything you have read about Aubrey Plaza and Kristen’s chemistry on screen is accurate. But the rest – nah. I’d rather watch Kristen’s pasta pictures on a loop.

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