Entertainment

Celebrity Treasure Island: Botched tear jerker and a Hollywood star goes home

The Jokers kicked off episode three by letting us take a peek at their hotly contested clue and like all of them, I am at a loss. What does it mean? Something about a hermit home and a stone’s throw away?

I know a few of you are code crackers; slip into my DMs with the answer, why don’t you?

Chris Parker gave a day-three update that sounded like he was at Rhythm and Vines, not Celebrity Treasure Island: “Everyone is feeling I wouldn’t say burnt out but maybe slightly unhinged?” But if I know anything about reality TV, that’s the best kind of energy to have.

The Legends decided to engage in a little bit of team bonding and Angela suggested hugs would be a great place to start, but like anything camp mother Ange does, there were rules. The hugs had to be 10 seconds long so oxytocin would be released and most importantly, they weren’t allowed to be sexual, which makes sense as absolutely nobody suggested they would be.

The non-sexual hugs appeared to fill the cracks, right up until the challenge where Tammy gave the camera diary his opinion of why their team is failing, it seems there are “too many cooks in the kitchen”.

Preach it, Tammy, those hugs are releasing oxytocin but they certainly aren’t acknowledging the real issue, which is a power battle.

It wouldn’t be Celebrity Treasure Island without a bit of strife though, would it? So to the team face-off our celebs went.

Candy Lane, from The Bosses, and Lana Searle, from The Jokers, bowed out of the face-off to create an even playing field since The Legends were a man down.

Letting Candy take one for the team was a decision the super-competitive Art welcomed as he was more than ready for the face-off. “I’ve had two coffees and I’m feeling amped.” But sneaky little Lana and the rest of The Jokers decided to use the advantage card hidden up their sleeve and bench Art instead of Candy.

Yikes, if looks could kill.

The Legends struggled with teamwork, earning them last place and absolutely no hugs. The Jokers, despite their secret card, came second. And for the third time in a row, The Bosses came first, leaving Lance with the difficult decision of again, deciding who would face elimination.

Edna wasn’t worried though “I can’t tell you how good it feels when you win a face-off”.

Anybody else slightly scared of what will happen when Team Edna – I mean, The Bosses, lose?

Back at camp where the Boss boys smashed out an ab workout, the Boss babes strategised who would be best to nominate for elimination. Edna was solely focused on breaking apart the “buzzing alliance” in Team Jokers, while Joe told Lance he would be happy to be put into the round.

Lance, settling nicely into his leadership shoes, took on the suggestions but made another decision, picking Kim from The Jokers and Richie Barnett from The Legends to go head to head in the elimination round.

Kim’s tear ducts immediately filled and she acknowledged he whole day she had been dealing with negative self-doubt and talk. She told the camera diary: “This was my worst-case scenario, that I would spiral internally.” But her team, forever supportive, gave her encouraging sentiments from the sidelines.

Unfortunately for Kim, her spiralling didn’t help, and she lost the challenge, but there was hope for her yet.

At the Team Bosses camp pre-team face-off we saw actor and former professional rugby player Joe Naufahu and Lance engage in an emotional chat.

“To see him be upset just broke my heart, it’s not often we’re vulnerable to each other,” Lance told the camera diary, the weight of their conversation lying heavily on his shoulders.

Joe explained to the celebs his mother is sadly battling bone cancer which spread to her lungs and was deemed terminal, something he found out only after he had agreed to come onto Celebrity Treasure Island. The difficult situation was made even harder by being so far away from her.

Before Kim could say her goodbyes, Joe stood up and told Matt Chisholm he would like to exit the game. The celebrities immediately welled up with tears, everyone was shocked and the energy was sombre.

“I thought I would be alright being away from mum, but it wouldn’t be fair for me to stay and risk anyone else going home.”

Tammy told the camera diary what we were all thinking: “It takes a big man to walk away, but whānau first.”

Whānau first indeed.

Joe said his goodbyes and as we reached for the tissue box, caught up in the emotion of the moment, the episode moved immediately on. I’m sorry…what?

With little time to process what had just happened, it ended up feeling overly formal and as if it had been rehearsed a million times.

Where was the humility? Where was the support for Joe? This moment deserved more and just didn’t deliver.

Richie was presented his prize, a piece of pirate gold and the episode concluded with Joe being a mere thought lost in the Northland beach wind.

For all the inside gossip and behind-the-scenes stories, listen to Inside Celebrity Treasure Island hosted by S2 contestant Kim Crossman!

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