Jimmy Kimmel says he “can’t wait for Lin-Manuel Miranda to make a musical out of it.”
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By Trish Bendix
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
This Seems Familiar
Representative Kevin McCarthy lost several more rounds of voting on Thursday, the third day of his attempt to become speaker of the House — stymied, so far, by a band of Republican rebels.
Jimmy Kimmel lamented that Nancy Pelosi “was supposed to be on our show tomorrow night but she can’t fly home because she needs to be in Washington to watch Kevin McCarthy lose 11 more times.”
“I can’t wait for Lin-Manuel Miranda to make a musical out of it.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“The House of Representatives adjourned last night after a sixth round of voting for a House speaker and reconvened today at noon. Because nothing says ‘We’re working hard to solve this problem’ like starting at noon.” — SETH MEYERS
“McCarthy’s stuck in some sort of nightmarish existential purgatory like the waiting room scene in “Beetlejuice,’ you know, but next to someone scarier than anyone in that movie.” — SETH MEYERS, referring to Representative Matt Gaetz
“And get this: I read that some Democrats and Republicans are considering a deal for a speaker both parties can get behind. So congratulations to our new speaker of the House, ‘Top Gun: Maverick.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“Meanwhile, McCarthy is now in the negotiation phase, where he’s making a bunch of concessions with the Republicans who are against him, and one of those concessions is a change to the rules that would make it easier to remove him. You know it’s bad when the only way you can get hired is if you promise to get fired, you know what I’m saying?” — JIMMY FALLON
“Why does he keep going? I’m beginning to think losing floor votes might be his kink.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Why else would Kevin McCarthy keep doing this other than to make me happy? Because I cannot get enough of this.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Punchiest Punchlines (Royal Rumble Edition)
“In his forthcoming book, Prince Harry claims that Prince William once knocked him to the floor during an argument about Meghan. Apparently, the fight happened at the Buckingham Waffle Palace.” — JIMMY FALLON
“They got in a fight after William insulted Harry’s wife, Meghan Markle. Harry claims William called Meghan ‘difficult,’ ‘rude’ and ‘abrasive,’ which he probably could have saved time and just said she’s American.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Two brothers who are the result of generations of inbreeding got in a fight? The only surprise to me is it didn’t happen in Florida.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“It’s fun when royals fight, ’cause they keep their pinkies out.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Harry also writes in his new book that before he married Meghan, William and Kate were religious viewers of her show ‘Suits.’ I feel like I believed everything Prince Harry said until just now. I don’t think even the stars of ‘Suits’ were religious viewers of ‘Suits.’” — JIMMY FALLON
The Bits Worth Watching
Stephen Colbert teased Prince Harry’s upcoming “Late Show” appearance to promote his book, “Spare” (“either a gripping tell-all about the royal family or a book of handy bowling tips”).
Also, Check This Out
Raúl Castillo plays a drill instructor who takes a bullied recruit under his wing in Elegance Bratton’s “The Inspection.”
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