Sideswipe: Beauty is in the eye of Instagram

Instagram, and facial editing apps like Facetune, have created a single type of face and body that is considered “objectively” beautiful. This face looks almost like a 3D rendition of a human and a lot like a Bratz Doll. Jia Tolentino in the New Yorker describes it as the emergence, among professionally beautiful women, as a single cyborgian face. “It’s a young face, of course, with poreless skin and plump high cheekbones. It has cat-like eyes and long, cartoonish lashes; it has a small neat nose and full, lush lips. It looks at you coyly but blankly as if it’s owner has taken half a Klonopin ( a tranquilizer)and is considering asking you for a private-jet ride to Coachella.The face is distinctly white, but ambiguously ethnic — it suggests a National Geographic composite illustrating what American will look like in 2050, if every American of the future were to be a direct descendant of Kim Kardashian West…” And a desire to look like the photographs created with social media filters is fuelling demand for cosmetic surgery.

Grinch just unwell

A few reputable medical journals once took a break from their serious work and diagnosed the “ailments” of cartoon characters, including the Christmas Grinch. Here’s their diagnosis…

Medical Issues: “Insomnia, loss of appetite, and irritability, which seemed to worsen during the winter season.”
Physician’s Notes: The Grinch was determined to be suffering from microcardia (his heart was two sizes too small). Diagnosis: Addison’s disease, which causes weight loss and abnormal skin pigmentation (the Grinch is green), and congestive heart failure, which explains the organ’s shrunken size. “The patient was treated with daily cortisol and aldosterone replacement therapy and significant improvement in both symptoms and appearance were noted.” Also: “An absence of external genitalia was noted, but not discussed.” (Canadian Medical Association Journal, December 2001)

Fun facts

1. After arguing over whether or not Steve Buscemi could be described as cool, two psychologists spent years researching coolness, publishing a study in 2012. Afterwards they still couldn’t agree.
2. The names of some of the world’s largest telescopes include: the Large Binocular Telescope, the Very Large Telescope, and the upcoming European Extremely Large Telescope.
3. According to a survey commissioned by the Association of Accounting Technicians, the average Briton will get into 812 arguments at work and make 7,967 rounds of tea for colleagues over the course of their career.

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