Lifestyle

I'm ready to date again after my abuse, but I don't want to muck it up

DEAR DEIDRE: I’m having my first crush in 20 years, and I don’t want to muck it up.

I’m a 50-year-old man and a survivor of domestic abuse.


For more advice from Dear Deidre

No issue is too small, too large or too embarrassing. Read our personal replies here.

  • Dear Deidre on Mental Health
  • Dear Deidre on Identity  
  • Dear Deidre on Debt and Money 
  • Dear Deidre on Work
  • Dear Deidre on Health and Wellbeing 
  • Dear Deidre on Addiction

My ex-wife was violent and hurt me so deeply that I swore I would never love again. 

I dedicated my life to being a single father to my two wonderful sons, now 16 and 17, and protecting them from their toxic mother.

But now, to my surprise, I’ve met a lovely woman, 45, through work. She’s divorced too and has also had bad relationships.

We have had after-work drinks together, and we’ve messaged each other as friends. Now I’d like to take things further. 

I can’t stop thinking about her, and it brightens up my day. I even get butterflies when I see her – like a teenager.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

Send an email to [email protected]

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

But I’m worried she doesn’t feel the same and that if we did get involved, I’ll get hurt again. 

I’m not sure what to do. 

Most read in Dear Deidre

DEIDRE'S STORIES

Mia searches for a Christmas present for Charlie while he visits his lover

DEAR DEIDRE

I found my girlfriend's pros and cons list for another man

CHILD-NO-CARE

My son and his girlfriend came to stay last Christmas and did nothing to help

LACK OF SUPPORT

I text my husband saying I was suicidal and he replied 'I'll be home later'

DEIDRE SAYS: Starting a relationship is always scary and risky, and even more so when you’ve been terribly hurt in the past.

But the rewards are usually worth the risk, and you deserve a chance at happiness. Do nothing and you might regret it.

Remind yourself that not all women are the same. 

If you like this woman, take time to develop your friendship so you know there’s more to this than a crush. Take it slowly, enjoy her company and have fun. 

My support pack, Learning to Love, might be helpful. 

NEXT IN TODAY'S DEAR DEIDRE My boyfriend won't have sex with me unless I get my nails done

READ DEIDRE'S PHOTO CASEBOOK Mia searches for a Christmas present for Charlie while he visits his lover

GET IN TOUCH How the page works and how to contact us

    Source: Read Full Article