I’m a therapist and this is why Jonah Hill’s messages to his girlfriend were problematic – fans who say he was just setting boundaries need to beware
- US-based therapist Jeff Guenther commented on recent reports about Jonah Hill
- READ MORE: Jonah Hill’s ex-girlfriend Sarah Brady launches new attack on the ‘misogynistic and narcissistic’ actor and claims he made her ‘turn down’ jobs
Jonah Hill ‘used therapy speak to control’ his ex girlfriend, a US therapist has said in a TikTok video, after some fans said the star was simply setting boundaries in his relationship.
In recent days, the actor’s former girlfriend Sarah Brady, who dated the Superbad star for a year in 2021, has claimed that Jonah was emotionally abusive, sharing messages allegedly sent by Jonah, 39, with one reportedly displaying the actor outlining his parameters for a romantic partnership.
This lengthy initial text included a list of unacceptable behaviours from professional surfer Sarah if they were to be together romantically, with the actor saying he did not want his partner doing things including ‘surfing with men,’ and ‘posting pictures of yourself in a bathing suit’.
At the end of the message, he concluded: ‘If these things bring you to a place of happiness I support it and there will be no hard feelings. These are my boundaries for romantic partnership.’
Now therapist Jeff Guenther, known on TikTok as @TherapyJeff, has shared a video in which he says the actor ‘was using therapy speak to control his [ex] girlfriend Sarah’.
Jonah Hill’s ex-girlfriend Sarah Brady has taken to social media to brand the actor a ‘misogynist’ and ‘narcissist (pictured: the couple together in 2021)
Therapist Jeff Guenther (known on TikTok as @TherapyJeff) says that the actor misused the therapeutical language to ‘control’ his partner
In the clip, Jeff says: ‘It’s important that we go over this misuse of therapy language, which is kind of a thing these days, and how it can be super problematic.’
This, he explains, is because it ‘masks controlling behaviour under a commonly accepted positive concept – in this case, boundaries, making it harder for the person on the receiving end, Sarah to challenge it’.
He notes some of the behaviours Jonah listed, including telling his professional surfer girlfriend that he was not going to be with her if she surfed with men, had boundaryless friendships with men, posted images of herself in a bathing suit, and had friendships with ‘women who are in unstable places’.
According to Jeff: ‘Jonah’ goes on to say that “these are my boundaries for a romantic relationship”.
‘Jonah’s use of the term boundaries in this message is a misuse of the concept.
‘A boundary is a healthy limit a person sets for themselves to protect their wellbeing and integrity. It is a rule or guideline that one creates to identify a reasonable, safe and permissible ways for others to behave towards them, and how they’ll respond when someone passes those limits.’
However, the therapist notes, these messages are ‘not setting boundaries that protect his emotional well being’.
‘Instead,’ Jeff explains, ‘he is dictating what behaviours and friendships Sarah is permitted to have. He’s essentially instructing Sarah on who she can be friends with, what she can do professionally, and how she can show up online.
Taking to Instagram late on Friday night, the surfer blasted the 39-year-old Superbad star by sharing screenshots of their past arguments
‘This is not an example of healthy boundary setting, but instead reflects an attempt at control. It demonstrates a lack of respect for Sarah’s autonomy, and individuality.’
He adds that this message is ‘more about restricting Sarah’s behaviour to suit his comfort levels and insecurities rather than expressing his feelings or needs in a healthy manner’.
Jeff goes on to explain how Jonah could adopt a ‘healthier and less manipulative approach’, by expressing how Sarah’s actions make him feel without using ultimatums about what she should or should not do.
The therapist concludes: ‘Jonah needs to consider Sarah’s needs and feelings and not just focus on his own, which it seems like he’s selfishly doing.’
Insight: Sarah alleged that while dating Jonah, he had to ‘personally approve’ her friends
He also references the actor’s documentary Stultz, about his own therapist, noting: ‘Jonah Hill made a lovely documentary about therapy and it’s a shame to see him weaponising what he learned to attempt to manipulate his girlfriend. That sucks.’
Sarah’s rollout of damning statements against her movie producer ex began with an Instagram Stories post Brady shared with the caption, ‘F*** it’ on Friday.
The screenshot showed two messages alleged to be from Jonah on December 2, 2021. The first was the lengthy text apparently from Jonah which described his boundaries.
In another post of his alleged messages, Brady claimed that Hill only wanted her to socialize with friends whom he had ‘personally approved.’
He then clarified: ‘My boundaries with you based on the ways these actions have hurt our trust.’
Sarah wrote online to her nearly 80,000 followers, ‘See the misuse of the term “boundaries”?’
Brady spun her posts as a ‘warning to all girls.’
Former flames: The couple used to regularly coordinate their outfits
‘If your partner is talking to you like this, make an exit plan,’ she captioned a screenshot that appeared to show Hill complaining about social media photos featuring her ‘a** in a thong.’
‘Call me if you need an ear,’ she added.
Brady maintained that her ex-boyfriend’s critiques were made in an attempt to control her.
She explained that she agreed with his requests in an attempt to keep him from experiencing ‘crippling anxiety.’
Sarah said she was ‘sharing this publicly now because keeping it to myself was causing more damage to my mental health than sharing it could ever do.’
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