My married lover took me to a brothel for sex.
I could hear horny punters grunting and groaning. The place was a hell hole and the bed had rubber sheets.
He tried to make out it was all a big laugh. But the reality was that he was too mean to pay for a decent hotel for a whole night.
Instead, he booked two hours in his favourite “massage parlour”, saying: “They know me here.” I admit that we were both drunk, but I knew what was going on and felt cheap and horrible.
Now he’s backtracking by saying that he’s someone who enjoys “pushing back boundaries”.
He says he only goes there for genuine massages and has never been with any of the working girls. What should I think when sex with him is so good?
JANE SAYS: I think you should get your sexual health checked out and give him the boot.
The sex may be great but you’re in over your head with a complex individual. There are plenty of cheap hotels. I suspect he got turned on by taking you somewhere sexually charged and edgy.
You need to start prioritising your mental and physical well-being. What might he have in store the next time? The mind boggles.
He left you feeling “cheap and horrible” and that can never happen again. You deserve better.
Puzzling grasp of time
The girl I like seems to exist in a completely different time zone. She says “I’ll call you tomorrow” and I don’t hear from her for over a week.
When I do see her, our dates are great fun, but I’m puzzled by the huge gaps in between. She doesn’t seem to notice how much time has passed. Is she playing me for a fool?
JANE SAYS: Some people are awful at communicating. Talk to her about keeping touch.
Is she seeing someone else? Does she have other personal commitments?
However, if the long gaps are a deal breaker, then get out before you get too attached.
Nightly terrors with ex
My creep of an ex is haunting my dreams.
Every time I close my eyes I see his face looming up at me and it’s making me afraid to turn out the light. In one particularly nasty nightmare we actually had sex.
I am perfectly happy with my husband and never want to see my ex in the flesh again. He was a tricky and selfish man.
I daren’t tell my husband my secret in case he gets jealous.
How am I supposed to stop these nightly terrors?
JANE SAYS: Nightmares and disturbed sleep are often caused by stress and anxiety when awake.
Sometimes individuals from our past make an appearance, whether we’re happy to see them or not.
Establish a regular bedtime routine.
Work out how much sleep you need (between six and nine hours) and get up at the same time each morning.
Avoid electronic devices for an hour before bedtime.
Wind down by taking a warm (not hot) bath and then stretch out to help relax your muscles.
Speak to your GP if you fear that the situation is getting out of hand.
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