DEAR DEIDRE: I HAVE a beautiful girlfriend and always thought I was straight but I’m sexually obsessed with one of my male friends. Am I gay after all?
I am 26 and I’ve been seeing my 25-year-old girlfriend for two years. I’m a plumber and she is a dentist, tall and beautiful.
All my mates said I was punching way above my weight when we started going out together.
We had a pretty active sex life until recently too, even though she can get tired after a long day on her feet.
Recently, while she was out, I had a few mates round to watch a football match on TV.
I was messing around with one mate play-fighting for the last can of beer. We started wrestling and I began to get aroused.
It was very awkward and I have not been able to stop thinking about him since.
He is awesome – fit and good-looking. When I watch porn now I focus on the guys not the girls, and I no longer get an erection with my girlfriend.
Should I explore my curiosity with guys or at least talk about it openly?
DEIDRE SAYS: Sexuality is not black and white but rather on a scale of 1 – 10 so you may fancy men and women.
Wrestling with your friend was exciting and arousing, and it sounds as though this has opened a window on your sexuality you’ve not even thought about before. My e-leaflet on Bisexual Issues will help you think this through.
Your girlfriend must be wondering what’s wrong so make an effort to focus your sexual attention on her.
If yours is a strong relationship the obsession with your friend could pass as suddenly as it arrived.
If that feels impossible, break with her kindly and then you can explore possible relationships with guys.
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