I’m bitterly disappointed in my long-term girlfriend.
I’ve just discovered that she had lesbian sex with her flatmate for the whole of their three years at university together.
From 2016 I single-handledly supported my girl because she was desperate to sign up as a mature student.
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Not only that, but I bought her a laptop and smartphone and gave her spending money.
But all the time I was out in Dubai earning the cash, she was sharing a bed with a woman.
I only found out when a mate started pulling my leg about it.
Now my girl isn’t even sorry. If anything, she’s being petulant and childish.
Each time I shout about how betrayed I feel, she pouts that the sex “didn’t count” because it was a woman, not another guy.
When I argue that it most definitely does count and I’m angry and feel let down, she complains that she was bored, lonely and broke. What was she supposed to do with herself when I was thousands of miles away?
Apparently, if anything, I should thank her female lover for keeping her company and keeping her warm.
I just feel so deflated and ridiculous. I thought I could trust her, and she used me. Now our relationship is a mess. She’s got a fantastic job and says I need to forget the past, but I can’t.
I can’t stop imagining her in the arms of her lover.
What if I’m required to travel for work in the future? Will she let me down again? Also, it’s highly likely her employer will send her abroad, too.
Is she always going to sleep with another woman if she feels insecure or alone?
JANE SAYS: Your girl is clearly trying to sweep this subject under the carpet. She may wish to downplay the affair, but sex is sex.
There’s no getting away from the fact she was intimate with an eager lover over rather a long period.
Was she ever going to tell you the truth? What did they mean to each other and how are relations between them today? Also, is she ashamed you had to find out the truth from another party?
The reality is we’re only human and we often do crazy things when we’re on our own in strange situations. I’m with her when she says it’s the future that matters now, but if you really can’t let go of the past, then do you have a future together?
You and she need to start talking like adults. She needs to drop the petulant kid act and you need to calm down.
My feeling is that the trust is broken, and things will never be the same again.
While you were working like stink in Dubai to finance her dream, she was doing the dirty behind your back.
Unless she holds her hands up and you can forgive and forget, I don’t see how you can make a go of things long term. Sorry.
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