No one told me my estranged dad had died until bumped into acquaintance in pub

DEAR DEIDRE:I ONLY found out that my dad had died when someone who had known him years ago bumped into me in a pub. I was estranged from him over an argument about my boyfriend at the time.

He didn’t like him and we fell out over it. I didn’t see him again, but he was in my thoughts a lot as we had always been close before this.

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I’m a 36-year-old woman. I missed attending his funeral, and if I’m honest I’m not sure that I would have gone, but I would have liked to have been given the chance.

Every so often I think about him and keep asking myself why wasn’t I told he’d died.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Your family may have thought that your relationship was so strained that you wouldn’t want to know – they may have been considering your feelings.

Death closes the door on reconciliation but try to focus on the happy years with your dad – no one can take those away from you.

Bereavement counselling would help you. Contact Cruse Bereavement Care (, 0808 808 1677).

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