Jennifer Lopez was married to Marc Anthony from 2004 to 2014. The singer says she and Anthony had been having marital problems for some time, but she later realized the problems she had were not about him.
Jennifer Lopez knew it was time to make a change
In her book, True Love, Lopez says she wanted to understand why she made certain choices when it came to relationships. She was troubled by the way her romantic life was going.
“In looking back at the crazy ride I’d been on with my past relationships, it was hard not to recognize that there was something I needed to examine,” wrote Lopez. “During my trip to promote ‘On the Floor’ in Europe, between performances and interviews, I was desperately trying to figure things out.”
Jennifer Lopez says her friend Leah Remini helped her find a therapist
Lopez reached out to her close friend, former King of Queens actor Leah Remini, for help. “No matter how bad things had gotten, this was a level of anxiety I had never dealt before,” wrote Lopez. “I didn’t know how to handle it.”
Remini responded by saying it sounded like Lopez had reached “rock bottom” and it was good for her to get to that point so she could make the necessary changes in her life.
“I had to find some way through all this, and I didn’t know how to do it alone,” continued Lopez. “I had to find the strength to make a change, but I didn’t have the strength in me, and I didn’t know where I could get it. And that was a very frightening, disorienting place to be. I felt helpless and I felt scared.”
Jennifer Lopez says her problems with Marc Anthony weren’t about him
Lopez said one of the biggest revelations she had during therapy was about her ex-husband. She says therapy helped her realize the marital problems she had with Anthony were not about him. She learned she had to do a lot of work within herself. She says she also learned how her issues played a role in some of the conflict she had with her former spouse.
“[The problems] I had weren’t about anyone else—they were about me,” wrote Lopez. “And there were a lot of problems. One, I discovered I had low self-esteem, which I had never pictured myself as having. Two, I worked on learning what integrity meant, which would cause a massive change.”
Jennifer Lopez says she realized her love has value
Another realization Lopez had was that she wasn’t valuing her love. She says she didn’t understand that the love she had to offer was worth something. Lopez admits she didn’t think her love mattered as much as someone else’s love.
“In analyzing step by step, relationships that went back as far as high school, I noticed I had never stopped to consider just how special my love was,” wrote Lopez. “I never stopped to look at myself and say, ‘You know what? You’re honest, you’re generous, you’re loving, and you’re loyal. You deserve a love that is as pure and special and good as the one you are giving. My love has value. I have value.’”
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