{"id":66990,"date":"2023-09-09T21:39:17","date_gmt":"2023-09-09T21:39:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/rapidcelnews.com\/?p=66990"},"modified":"2023-09-09T21:39:17","modified_gmt":"2023-09-09T21:39:17","slug":"my-step-sons-a-selfish-layabout-ive-told-my-wife-he-goes-or-i-do","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/rapidcelnews.com\/lifestyle\/my-step-sons-a-selfish-layabout-ive-told-my-wife-he-goes-or-i-do\/","title":{"rendered":"'My step-son's a selfish layabout. I've told my wife he goes, or I do'"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"What<\/p>\n

When you shack up with someone who has children, you\u2019re gaining more than a new relationship. But what happens if you butt heads with their brood?<\/p>\n

This week, we hear from a reader who can\u2019t stand his wife\u2019s \u2018lazy, selfish\u2019 adult son. So much so, that\u2019s he\u2019s given her an ultimatum: either the son moves out or he does.<\/p>\n

It is a recipe for disaster? Read the advice below. <\/p>\n

Before you go, check out\u00a0last week\u2019s dilemma,\u00a0where a husband was using his lovechild to justify his ongoing affair. <\/p>\n

The problem\u2026<\/strong><\/h2>\n

I found love late in life six years ago, when I fell for the barmaid at our local golf club. She already had a teenage son, who seemed nice enough on the rare occasions I saw him.<\/p>\n

When we married two years ago, I moved into her place as she didn\u2019t want to disrupt the boy\u2019s schooling. That was when I realised what a lazy, selfish layabout he is, though things were bearable while he was still in education.<\/p>\n

This summer he left school and now stays in bed till lunchtime most days. He has no plans to go to university or work, and rather than contribute financially, my wife actually still gives him pocket money.<\/p>\n

He brings his friends home at all hours and plays music that wakes us up. Believe it or not, she will actually make him and his friends egg and chips at three in the morning, so they all think she\u2019s the mum of the century. I\u2019ve tried telling her she spoils him, but her view is that he\u2019s only young and enjoying himself while he has no responsibilities.<\/p>\n

Our sex life has fizzled to nothing as I\u2019ve started sleeping in a separate room, so I\u2019m not disturbed when she gets up to cook for him.<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t want to give up on my marriage so soon, but I\u2019ve reached the point where either he goes, or I do.<\/p>\n

Laura says\u2026<\/h2>\n

You may disapprove of how your wife treats her son, but trying to lay down the law is likely to unite them against you. After all, they were a unit before you came along and probably have a very strong bond. Perhaps as a single parent she centred her life around him, without realising this was encouraging him to be selfish.<\/p>\n

Nevertheless, this is your home too, and as you are presumably sharing the expenses, you\u2019re entitled to expect certain rights.<\/p>\n

Your stepson won\u2019t live to your rules just because you married his mum, so try instead to gain his friendship and respect. Take him out for a drink and encourage him to talk about his view of the world. He may be so wrapped up in himself that he doesn\u2019t realise what a pain he\u2019s being, so now is your opportunity to clear up a few things in a non-judgemental way. He\u2019s more likely to try to please a friend than an enemy.<\/p>\n

Believe it or not, he\u2019s probably scared of the responsibilities of growing up, so encourage him to look online for ways to get that first job. Point out the plusses of work, like friends, independence and money.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t turn this into a competition for your wife\u2019s affection but do explain to her how the present set-up is harming your marriage. Move back into the bedroom and put renewed effort into your relationship; sulking in the spare room will only make things worse.<\/p>\n

Remember that your stepson will eventually leave home. You\u2019ve waited a long time to find love; do you really want to give up on it so soon?<\/p>\n

Source: Read Full Article<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When you shack up with someone who has children, you\u2019re gaining more than a new relationship. But what happens if you butt heads with their brood? This week, we hear from a reader who can\u2019t stand his wife\u2019s \u2018lazy, selfish\u2019 adult son. So much so, that\u2019s he\u2019s given her an ultimatum: either the son moves […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":66989,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\n'My step-son's a selfish layabout. 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